In Memoriam For My Mom

My Mom was always a beauty...this is one of my favourite pictures of her; before any of us were born, when she was 22 years old!

This is the Eulogy I sent to be read at my Mother's Funeral. I could not attend it as I live in the States and my Mom resided in Canada.

I am sad not to be there with you to reminisce and say goodbye to my Mother. Hopefully this little offering will help you remember her the way she was before the last 5 or 6 years. This is merely a series of snapshots so you may be able to see this lovely lady through my eyes.

Mom was a talented,funny, modest, bright, woman. Not a soul who knew her could help but love her. She was one of the few people in the world I knew that loved me completely and unconditionally. Believe me that was no small feat.

As a young person, I had a propensity for embroidering the facts. My Mother was heart sick about the situation. She had often been embarrassed on account of this questionable talent. Little by little she encouraged me to write my fantasies down on paper in the form of short stories or poetry. She always told me 'write down all your feelings'. Lo and behold, I became a forthright and imaginative writer. Perhaps I should confess I am still becoming a writer. My Mom always helped me with my diversion by encouraging me along the way. As a result; writing has become my other vocation.

I don't remember any occasion where Mom ever made any of us feel anything but encouraged, worthwhile and loved. She endeavored to teach me to be a good, moral, and ethical woman. That was not always an easy task. My sister Betty can attest to that fact. The lessons did not always jell right at that moment; but years later my Mom's teachings stood me in good stead.

A lot of people have considered me the black sheep of the family. Well actually it was a draw between my brother Dave and I. But no matter what prank I pulled off or what kind of hot water I found myself; my Mother was there for me. She was never judgmental. I knew she was frustrated with me but that only made me strive to be a better person. She might not have liked what I did a lot of the time but I never felt unappreciated or unloved.

I remember family meals at Modern Fish and Chips or the Pagoda for Chinese food. I remember holiday meals with everyone around the table in the rec room at the old house. She was an excellent cook and watching her helped me become a decent one as well. During the summers, Mom and Dad would try to take whatever children were still in the nest to a different place for vacation. They took my brother and I all over the States and Canada. I took my last road trip with Pat and my parents in the early nineteen-sixties. I have memories of Mom making us a picnic out of open hearth bread, huge fresh strawberries and thick cream beside the St. Lawrence River. Or trying to eat cod fish tongues for breakfast on the East Coast because the locals said they were a delicacy. My Mom took each thing in stride, each venture as an educational opportunity and each unfamiliar food as culinary adventure.

One of my Mother's assets was the ability to make other people feel special right when they needed the boost. She had this uncanny capacity of turning a bad situation into an opportunity. I think she believed that every cloud really DID have a silver lining. I believe she accepted people generally speaking as being good until they proved otherwise. Don't misunderstand me; although my Mother was a kind hearted soul she definitely was not anyone's patsy. I have witnessed a number of times when different people tried to put one over on her and she made it very clear that they would not be allowed to mess with those she loved or herself.

Many times throughout my life; I would be ready to flare up or give up. Her strong, caring presence would be there to help me gain perspective. The only time I remember my Mother being really angry with me was a time in my life when I had pretty much given up on everything. She told me that I did not have the right to give up on the world or myself as God would never give up on me. She left me without another word, to mull over what she had said. Before this incident I did have knowledge of belief but not of faith. I think that was the starting point of faith for me. Spiritually, I found my Mother ever inspirational.

I know all of us shall miss my mother Eileen terribly. It makes me happy to think that Daddy and her have already found each other again. But I have this conciliation; death cannot erase my memories or our love for each other nor can it erase yours.